River Glow
First Citizen shrugs off thanks for the glowing river, calling it “free light for all.”
Administrator Grundy appeared on the banks of the nation’s brightest new landmark last night: the River Glow, an industrial spill turned civic miracle. With cameras rolling and families cheering beneath violet reflections, he waved to the crowd and assured them that “no one has anything to fear from progress that shines.”
When asked if the event was linked to last week’s transport leak, the First Citizen laughed, calling it “fake negativity” and inviting viewers to “look how beautiful patriotism can be when it gets loose.”
Officials from the Ministry of Environmental Correction confirmed the glow is “technically harmless and emotionally beneficial.” Children waded into the radiant shallows for official photos as drones broadcast the spectacle nationwide.
“You can’t dim a free nation,” Grundy said, gesturing to the fluorescent surface. “You can only reflect it.”
Later, when asked about cleanup, he smiled broadly: “Cleanup? Why? The people are happy. The fish are visible. The future is bright.”