Grundy Visits the Wounded Angels

First Citizen Grundy arrived at the Angels Military Hospital this morning carrying what aides described as “a truckload of pep.” Wearing his sequined jacket and an expression that didn’t quite fit the lighting, he moved down the ward shaking hands, signing casts, and telling jokes that ended mostly in applause or confusion.

The visit, part of the National Visibility Initiative, was meant to “show the wounded they’re still visible.” Cameras followed Grundy as he praised the nurses for “doing the Lord’s filing” and called the bandage carts “tiny white tanks of hope.” He stopped twice to salute a defibrillator, then asked if it played the anthem.

“These fellas are real stander-uppers,” he announced. “They stood up for standing up itself, and that’s why this country still has legs.” The remark, immediately quoted by the Ministry of Tone, was later corrected to “a metaphor of endurance” though no one was certain what for.

At one point Grundy paused to thank “the healing spirit of the fluorescent angels in the ceiling,” waving at the light fixtures until a nurse lowered them for “maintenance.” “You can’t have recovery without brightness,” he added. “That’s what my grandmother used to say, right before the toaster fire.”

Asked about his goal for the visit, Grundy replied, “Just making sure morale’s breathing steady. You gotta buff your courage now and then—keep it glossy so it shines from the road.” He nodded solemnly. “That’s how you stop rust.” The quote has been entered into the National Archives under “Preventive Leadership, Mostly.”

Before leaving, the First Citizen handed out commemorative patches reading “Still Standing (Give or Take)” and coupons for a free rerun of his wellness broadcast, Grundy on the Mend. The Ministry of Symbolism called the gifts “a touching display of circular inspiration.”

As the cameras rolled, Grundy raised his hand in farewell. “Rest easy, Angels,” he said. “The nation’s got your back and both arms.” The line earned a synchronized nodding session that concluded precisely when the red light on the camera went dark.

Editor’s note: All patients were later rated “visibly reassured.” Ceiling fixtures remain under review.