ONE TRUE INFOTAINMENT — The Voice of the Corrected States of America
Banners Repair Broken Diplomacy

Friendship Correction

Ministry technicians deploy friendship banners to restore international cheer.

Ministry of Exterior Wellness ·

Technicians hanging friendship banners across an urban border checkpoint
Crews hoist new banners promising mutual understanding under the guidance of the First Citizen’s correction policy.

In a fresh wave of international emotional restoration, the Ministry of Exterior Wellness has unfurled hundreds of new Friendship Correction Banners along contested borders and confused airports. Each banner carries the slogan “Harmony, Now Mandatory”, printed in smiling red on compliant white.

Administrator Grundy praised the initiative as “a handshake large enough to be seen from orbit.” When questioned about the program’s cost, he clarified that goodwill is “self-replicating when properly formatted.”

Citizens are encouraged to assist by forwarding at least three foreign acquaintances for corrective outreach review. “No relationship is too stable to be improved by guidance,” said Deputy Minister Blaine Pruitt while monitoring the ceremonial unrolling of Banner #001: *‘Be My Ally, Or Be Corrected.’*

“We used to argue,” one volunteer said, tightening a banner cable. “Now we collaborate through assigned enthusiasm.”

Foreign observers noted that some banners were positioned directly over surveillance arrays. The Ministry dismissed criticism, stating the devices simply “measure happiness at scale.” Evening broadcasts showed synchronized smiling between crews on both sides of the border, confirming what officials called “a successful alignment of tone.”